My sweet cat and friend for so long is sick, so sick that he has become so thin and dehydrated that he is just wasting away. He tries so hard to eat, the vet gave him subcataneous fluids but still today he is in very bad shape =( His bloodwork shows nothing that they tested for save elevated white blood cell count but he has no fever, she feels indictive of something ominous, likely cancer. She thinks he will die soon, and thinks he is probably suffering. They have reserved a spot for him today and just waiting on me to call with a decision.
How does one decide such a thing? I truly don't know. What if its wrong, what if he could get better and I end his life? How do I drive my faithful friend to the vets, look into his eyes and end his life. I just dont know.
I mean I do know. I dont want him to suffer, he doesnt deserve that, he deserves for me to be strong and do what is best for him, not for me, for him.
Still, what if we are all wrong, this thought is haunting me.
He isnt sick in the picture, that was in October, he looks so healthy and happy there, how can things change so quickly? this feels like a horrible nightmare.
/sigh
8 comments:
Bless your heart. I am just so sorry. How old is your kitty?
Having just lost my girl, Jezebel, I understand the awful position you are in. Making those sorts of decisions come with loving a pet but it is never easy. I am sure your heart is breaking. If you are like me, you must be right on the edge of panic that you might make the wrong choice.
I will pray for you and your furbaby.
Penny
Thank you Penny, I really appreciate your kindness. Tigger is 15, he is a Maine Coon apparently, originally a rescue baby so I did not know he was, according to the literature I have read on the breed, he is a very old boy now.
I'm just so not ready you know? I guess we never are, I still have not made the call, just sitting here being extremely sad.
I feel your pain. One year I paid big vet bills and tube-fed my daughter's cat 4 times a day until she recovered from a liver disease. She lived to be 20, but that last 3 months was very hard for my daughter. I finally talked to the vet (a friend) and asked when it was time to give up. She said if they get down to under 5 pounds, they usually can't save them. I gently held Mickey as they gave her her final rest. Sometimes you just have to let them go. I'm sorry you have to endure this pain. Becky
Just checking in to see how you are. I've been thinking about you and Tigger all day. I pray he is better.
Penny
You are so kind Penny, thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
I took him yesterday afternoon, he was in worse shape than the day before and the fluids had made no difference =( he was gasping for air and panicking because he just couldnt breath, every bone on his beautiful body showing. The vet thru tears of her own felt he would not make the weekend and that he was suffering, so the choice was made to let him go.
I think he really passed before the medicine even went in, I know in my heart it was the right decision.
I miss him terribly as I know you do your beautiful Jezebel.
hugs and grateful thanks.
Thank you Becky, its for certain the difficult part of sharing our hearts with fur kids. But to not have had them in our lives is inconceivable to me, I cant imagine my life without the memories of Tiggy being in it.
Oh, I am so sorry. Your heart must be broken but it sounds like things reached a point where you knew it was the right decision. You can take comfort that you did what you could for him when there wasn't anything left you could do for him. It sounds like you gave him a wonderful life. It is so hard, though. Time will help but at this point, you haven't had time to help sooth you. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Penny
I am so sorry....we were in a similar situation last year with our lovely Belle, but nature took its course and before we could take that final trip to the vet, she was gone. Our cats aren't just animals, they are furry family members.
Jennifer
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